What if no one reads your blog?
After a recent post of mine trended on the discover page and I saw sharp peaks on my analytics, I started craving the hit of bearblog popularity. I was refreshing my analytics, double checking the discover page to see if another post of mine on the same topic has reached virality or not.
I noticed that I am behaving very similarly to checking the notification bar in any of the social media sites. The antithesis of what bear blog is ment to be.
I couldnt stand to keep my subscription lapsed after 6 months of subscribing thinking, I'm not on bearblog for the dopamine hit of virtual social validation.
But anyway, now I have to make peace with the fact that every writing of mine will not reach virality, and with the absence of comment section, I would probably never receive an email response to my post.
So, why post at all?
Because I regret not being consistent with my wordpress dabbling back in 2011. If I had kept posting, If I had kept blogging from even before that when in school, then how wonderful would it have been to see my evolution as a person? from the youth of school, to college, to a working professional and now as a PhD student once again.
So, time to buck up, and prepare a gift to my future self, sometime when I retire in my 60s or 70s, let me hope to leave a rich repository of thoughts and experiences for older me, and hope to make myself feel a bit younger through these words and bring myself back to late 30s.
This is all for you, older me. :)